


RWBY Bloopers

by So_u_like_pkmn



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Attempt at Humor, Everyone Is An Adult, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Like Tom Holland, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot Twist, RWBY is just a struggling show, Rip Blake, Roman Torchwick is emo pass it on, Ruby and Yang are still sisters, Salem is the director and co-writer, Someone help Ruby Rose, They just look young, With dorky actors, bloopers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2019-09-25 17:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17125904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_u_like_pkmn/pseuds/So_u_like_pkmn
Summary: Shenanigans happen when you have a dorky cast on a limited budget show. Salem just wants everyone to do their job, but that most-likely is not going to happen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If any of Y'all want relationships in this story. Just put it in the comments and I'll think about it.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> -Star

**Chapter One: Ruby Rose**

_“Man, born from dust, was strong, wise, and resourceful. But he was born into an unforgiving world. An ineviable-oh, sorry. I screwed that up. Let’s try this again.”_

___________________________________

_“Nature’s wrath in hand, man lit their way through the darkness and in the shadow’s absence, came strength, civilization and most importantly, life. But even the most brilliant lights eventually flicker and die.”_

“Wow! That took a dark turn!”

“Yang, please.”

___________________________________

Roman Torchwick and the henchmen behind him walked through the empty street.

Suddenly, one of the men slipped on prop litter and fell backwards onto the ground.

“I’m okay!”

______________________________________

Torchwick stopped and took a drag of his cigar.

He started coughing and the cigar fell out of his mouth as he bent down to breath.

“*cough* Sorry! Never *cough* had these before!”

“Someone get him some water!”

_____________________________________

Torchwick was walking down the dark street, he suddenly stopped. Causing one of the men to stumble into his back.

The redhead ignored this as he looked at the pedestrians around him.

“Why the hell is everyone a shadow?!”

A blonde woman with blue eyes, the director of the show, sighed. “Because we have a limited budget, Roman.”

“Oh, right.”

Salem sighed loudly. “So this is one of _those_ types of cast.”

“ _Hey!_ ” Several voices complained off set.

______________________________________

Torchwick walked up to the counter. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a Dust shop open this late?”

When a henchman pointed a gun at the shopkeep the old man only stared the barrel down.

“Pull the trigger, you coward.”

There was a burst of laughter behind the shelf where Ruby was looking at the magazines.

“Shut it, Red!” Roman playfully growled. “It’s not your turn yet!”

“Cut!”

______________________________________

“Yes?” Ruby took off her headphones, innocent confusion on her face.

“I said, put your hands in the air, now!” The henchman ordered.

“Are you...robbing me?” The cloaked teen squinted at him.

“Yes!”

“Ohhhhhhh, you’re a dumbass!”

“Hey!” The henchman busted out laughing.

_______________________________________

Ruby smirked as she twirled the prop scythe and slammed it into the loose spot in the fake road.

“Damn, that was cool,” An Intern whispered offset. 

“Cut!”

The Intern sputtered. “S-Sorry!”

_______________________________________

When Ruby slammed the non-bladed end of her prop scythe into one of the henchmen, he let out a yelp of pain.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Ruby pasped as she dropped her character. “Are you okay?”

The man groaned, but gave a thumbs up.

“Medic!” Salem called.

_______________________________________

Torchwick climbed onto the roof and ran. There was a gunshot sound as Ruby ‘shot’ her way up.

However, just before she could make her landing she stopped in mid air.

Ruby let out a breathy gasp and dropped her prop scythe. There was a moment of silence as she just hung there.

“A bit hung up, Red?” Roman smirked.

“Someone help me down!” Ruby gasped.

Several offset members moved to help her down as Salem leaned over to her assistant. 

“Make a note for the stunt department to fix that.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

________________________________________

When the smoke from the explosion disappeared to reveal Glynda, Roman gasped.

“It’s McGonagall! Cinder, we can’t fight a wizard!”

Glynda smirked as she adjusted her glasses, using a good British accent. “That’s correct, Mister Malfoy.”

Ruby looked like she was having a fangirl moment.

________________________________________

“You’re a Huntress,” Ruby gasped before her face turned to begging. “Can I have your autograph?”

There was a moment of silence before Glynda spoke up. “No.”

Ruby looked sadly down and kicked the ground. “Rejected again.”

________________________________________

“...and a slap on the wrist.”

When Glynda slapped the riding crop down, she accidently hit Ruby’s hand when the younger actress didn’t pull her hand away in time.

“Yeow!” She yelped and gently rubbed her hand.

“Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry!”

“I’m okay!”

________________________________________

“Ruby Rose...you...have silver eyes.”

“Stranger danger! Stranger danger!”

________________________________________

“It’s just that I’ve only seen one other scythe-wielder of that skill before,” Ozpin paused. “A dusty, old crow.”

“Mmmm! Thash muh-*cough*!”

Ruby coughed a few times to dislodge the cookie she was currently choking on.

Glynda quickly moved around the table and started patting Ruby’s back.

“Water, please…” The cloaked actress groaned.

An Intern rushed over and handed over a water bottle.

Ruby took a few gulps of water before throwing her arms up.

“Not today, Satan!”

_________________________________________

“Witchaaa!”

When Ruby flung her arm, the limb accidently hit her in the face. She groaned and held her nose.

“How do I get myself into these situations?”

_________________________________________

“And what is an adorable girl such as yourself doing at a school designed to train warriors?”

“That’s kind of creepy, dude.”

Salem groaned and put her face in her hands. “It’s the first episode.”

_________________________________________

“Oh, I can’t believe my baby sister is going to Beacon with me!”

“Can’t...breath…”

_________________________________________

_“...the robbery was led by nefarious criminal Roman Torchwick, who continues to evade authorities.”_

“Looks like an emo to me,” Yang smirked as she gave a giggling Ruby a wink.

“Hey!” Roman cried out off set.

_________________________________________

Yang pointed out the fake window and at the green screen. “Look! I can see my Grandma’s house from here!”

_________________________________________

“Get away get away! Get away from me! Get away from me!”

“And that’s a wrap people!” Salem grinned. “The filming for episode one is complete!”

Staff members cheered. Ruby and Yang gave each other a high five, both giving a “woo!”

“We’re still watching the premier at Mom and Dad’s, right?” Ruby asked as she gently took off her cloak and handed it to wardrobe.

“Yeap!” Yang grinned as the two walked towards the changing rooms. “Than off to shoot episode two.”

“From what the script said. It’s going to be chaotic.”

“That’s what I’m hoping for!”

“Yang! I get blown up!”

“My favorite part!”


	2. The Shining Beacon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I died.
> 
> But I lived!
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter :D

“Ohmygosh, sis! That kid’s got a collapsible staff! And she’s got a fire sword!”

 

Ruby tires to get closer, but Yang pulled her back by the hood. However, Yang pulled a bit too hard. Ruby yelped as she lost her balance and fell on her back.

 

“Owie…”

 

“Sh- sorry, Ruby!” Yang cried out and helped her sister back up. “Are you okay?”

 

“Is my spine still there?”

 

“Cut!”

 

* * *

 

“But why would I need friends if I have you?”

 

“Well…” In a flash other students surrounded Yang and they started to run off. “Actually, my friends are-”

 

One of the extras tripped and fell on another extra, taking her down with him. This caused a domino effect and everyone fell, including Yang.

 

Ruby started laughing. “Karma!”

 

Salem gave a long sigh.

 

* * *

 

“So the suitcases are pillows?” Ruby asked as she reached out a hand towards said props.

 

“Not exactly, they’re foam,” Salem calmly explained. “So it doesn’t hurt when you fall on them.”

 

The actress nodded, suddenly a mischievous look appeared on her face and grabbed a foam suitcase.

 

“Hey, Yang! Come here!”

 

“What’s up,” The blonde actress walked up, eyes on the suitcases.

 

“What does this feel like?”

 

Before Yang could comprehend the sentence she was smacked in the head with a foam suitcase.

 

“Oof! Why you little-!”

 

* * *

 

Weiss stood over the fallen Ruby. “What are you doing?!”

 

“Falling for you.”

 

There was a snort before Weiss quickly covered her mouth, a few chuckles escaped.

 

“You certainly know how to charm a girl.”

 

* * *

 

Ruby gave a loud sneeze, groaning a bit at it.

 

“That’ll look so cool with the explosion edited in.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey! I said I was sorry, Princess!”

 

“It’s heir-”

 

Blake hissed in a very cat-like way when she tripped and face planted the ground, she groaned but didn’t get up.

 

“What’s with everyone falling today?” Yang called from offset.

 

“You okay, Blake?” Ruby asked as Weiss gently shook the downed actress.

 

There was a muffled. “Let me die.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey...I’m Jaune.”

 

Ruby took his hand. “Ruby.” She stood up before a snicker escaped her lips. “Aren’t you the guy that threw up on the ship?”

 

Jaune sputtered an excuse while Ruby laughed.

 

* * *

 

“All I’m saying is that motion sickness is much more common problem than people let on!”

 

“Motion sickness affects more than two hundred-thousand people per year in the US.”

 

“Blake! Filming!”

 

“Sorry, Salem!”

 

* * *

 

 

“Well, the name's Jaune Arc! Short, sweet, rolls of the tongue- ladies love it!”

 

Ruby skeptically raised an eyebrow. “Do they?”

 

“They will after this episode,” Jaune turned to the camera and winked at it.

 

* * *

 

“So...I got this thing!”

 

Ruby slammed the scythe-form prop of Crescent Rose towards the ground. The prop bounced off the ground and flew out of the actress’ hand, making her squeak in alarm.

 

“Run away scythe!”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, where are we going?”

 

“Oh, I dunno, I was following you.”

 

“Shit.”

 

Salem threw back the rest of her coffee, wishing it was wine. “Cut!”

 

* * *

 

“Cut! Good job, crew!”

 

Ruby and Jaune fistbumped before seprating, the blond to the food and the lead actress to the changing room.

 

Corsets were so itchy! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was thinking to doing Comic-Con like chapters with panels and stuff. Please tell me if you guys what to see that!


End file.
